Our first piece of paperwork arrived today!!! Mark's birth certificate from Illinois wins the fastest arrival time award. Way to go Illinois! Texas...what in the world???? How could you let them outdo us like that???
Paperwork is part of my job description as a public middle school teacher. I do it ALL the time! I almost thrive on seeing how fast I can do it. Is that sick, or what? You want a growth plan? I'll give you a growth plan! Bam! Done. Part of being "type A" is that checking things off the list is exhilarating. There's a sense of progression and achievement when you see paper moving in Education. As I grade papers, I stop periodically to count how many I have left, look at the clock, and time myself. With each stack of papers, I am more efficient and timely. Wonderful.
Adoption paperwork, while MUCH slower, is also exhilarating. With each signature on a line, each demand for a notary, and each time UPS rings my doorbell, I get closer and closer to seeing my child! I come home every day now and check the mail first thing. I then open my email accounts to check for any updates from my Family Coordinator or contact from my Home Study person. When there are no updates, or very few, I then spend the next hour or two reading updates on the AWAA Yahoo Group about people all over the country receiving referrals, getting court dates, traveling to pick up their child. Not to mention the countless blogs that I read of Ethiopian adoptive families who have received their children. I am officially obsessed. It's no longer "OCD tendencies", it's certifiable.
While obsession over the internet, paperwork, and any adoption media I can find is not necessarily healthy, I do wonder if this is what God feels when he's pursuing us. I don't think we have any idea what goes on behind the scenes. We go through the same daily rituals blinded to the spiritual world around us. Sometimes we forget that God is even there. We have no idea that he cares about our situation or that he even exists. Meanwhile, God is lining up all the necessary items until we are officially His. Our baby has no idea who we are or what we are doing to bring him home, and it's the same for us. If we had any idea what God was doing to bring us home, we would be filled with joy and anticipation of our homecoming day.
Today, one of my students said..."So...he isn't even born yet?" Wow. Yea, I guess our child isn't even born yet. Since we requested a baby 0-6 months old, he may not even be conceived. Yet every day, ALL day, he is all I can think about. God said in Isaiah 49, "Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name." Just as Mark and I think and dream about our little one to come, God dreamed of us before we were conceived. He knew us in our mother's womb Psalm 139 says, and in Jeremiah 1:5, He says "before you were born, I set you apart." Oh how I hope that our little one always knows that they were thought of, mentioned by name, known, and chosen before we even laid eyes on him. What a beautiful picture of how God sees us.