Friday, July 18, 2008


Last night I woke up nausiated and vomitted twice. I hate to throw up. It's disgusting, painful, and leaves a horrible taste in your mouth. No one wants to feel the involuntary pulsating reflex in your intestines, particulary because you know the burning sensation in your throat that will follow moments later. Moreover, no one wants to experience the complete lack of control that comes with purging...unless of course you've gotten to the point of surrender. You know what I mean. That moment that you realize that purging yourself of the toxins that are causing your body to retaliate is the only option unless of course you plan to be miserable in your nausia, sweating, and sleeplessness for several more hours. That's where I was at an ungodly hour this morning.
Isn't that just like our flesh; constantly resisting the purifying power of God. We try to ignore the sin in our lives. Maybe if we lay really still no one will be able to tell it's there, or maybe if we ignore the Holy Spirit's conviction, I will escape the pain of repentance. We don't want to experience the anguish involved in facing the reality of who we are apart from God. Our pride resists and supresses the purging of sin that must occur in our lives to become more like God. Instead we rebel in fear of the pain of relinquishing our hearts to God. The fact is that we will not be effective for God's kingdom in our generation if we do not allow God to purge us of the "sin that so easily entagles us". Yea, it's gross, painful, and uncomfortable, but until we surrender and allow God to purify us by washing our hearts, we will never experience the rest and healing that comes from eliminating the most ruthless toxin in our hearts: sin. Whether we want it to or not, it's going to come out. We might as well cooperate with God and get on with healthy living.

1 comment:

Erica said...

So well written...and an accurate description of how gross sin is when allowed to take root in our lives. I enjoyed catching a glimpse of your life!