Day 21 - I'm loosing count

Today is either day 20 or 21.  I'm starting to loose track of time.  I feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway.  I might start carving tally marks in the wall to keep track of the day.  As long as I don't find a volleyball and name it Wilson, I think I'll be okay; although a soccer ball might have to suffice here.

Zane is so funny and curious.  He watches videos Mark left on our iPad where Mark's talking to him and being silly almost every day.  He stares at it and says "Daddy" over and over again.  I reply, "That's Daddy!" and he just stares expressionless a little longer.  I think he's totally confused.  My thoughts were verified when he picked up the iPad and looked behind it for Daddy.  He even tried to separate the cover from the iPad to see if Daddy was inbetween the iPad and the cover!  I guess he thinks Daddy is hiding behind the screen!  It's really cute to watch...and sad at the same time.  I wish Mark was here so Zane could see him in person.  I know Zane wishes he were here too.  At least Mark can rest in the fact that his child thinks he's skinnier than an iPad.  That's a compliment, right?

Today was a great day with Zane.  He was in a good mood again, and mom and I enjoyed being with him.  He ate pretty well when the cooks made him his favorite "cereal", but he will not eat pasta.  No shape, no matter what the sauce is.  I don't get it.  They gave him pasta stars today.  What kid doesn't like pasta stars?
I'm beginning to think we have a picky eater on our hands, and honestly, I don't know how to handle that!  Neither Mark or I have ever been picky eaters!  Zane has learned how to get what he wants at the transition home, and the nannies are well aware of his preferences.  It's amazing how such a young person can have everyone doing his bidding.  Looks like Zane's going to get a "re-boot" in America, so he can receive what he needs, not just what he wants.

Zane is a really good boy, and he shows a lot of potential developmentally and in attachment.  So many children at the transition home are desperate for attention and affection.  They latch on to any "mommy" that comes along, and they are indiscriminate about their attachment toward adults.  This can seem really cute and lovable, but it actually shows a lack of attachment and bonding.  They have not learned who is safe and who isn't, or the difference between mom and dad and a stranger.  I thank the Lord that Zane seems to be VERY discriminate and VERY particular about who touches him, who holds him, etc.  He will whine when mom is holding him and I step away for a minute.  This may seem like he's a fussy baby, but this is the best gift he could give his mom and dad.  This shows that he has bonded with us, and he knows who his parents are.

When Zane and I went to visit his old baby room today, the nannies he was with were so loving toward him.  He's definitely a favorite to many of them.  They hold his hands and kiss them over and over.  One of the nannies said, "Na!  Na!", which means, "Come!" and he didn't reach for them.  He burrowed his arms in my chest and looked away.  They laughed and said something in Amharic, which I interpret to be something like, "He's attaching well to mommy!"  I heard "mommy" in there, and they seemed pleased.

Soon afterward, the doctor, who saw Zane this morning, saw us on the sidewalk enjoying the sunshine, and she said, "He really loves you.  He cries when he comes to me!  He doesn't like for me to examine him."  She said it with a smile of approval, and it really blessed me for her to say this.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm being criticized by the people around me at the transition home.  My self-consciousness gets the better of me and I fear that people are talking about me in Amharic sometimes.  It's hard to tell with the difference in language and tone.  I don't know what to make of their stares sometimes and their "firm" and "demonstrative" expressions.  Today, I felt like the Lord graced me with affirmation from the people here, and I know this encouragement was from him.

Mom and I stayed at the transition home until noon and we returned to the guest house to eat lunch with Megan and Aliyea, her adopted daughter.  They left this evening to return to the states.  Aliyea was so excited she was kissing Mom and I and running around like crazy.  I know Dustin and the boys are going to be glad when the girls get home!

We are here now with a Danish couple and her dad, Laura Unrah, her dad, and two adopted children, and another family will be arriving tonight for their embassy appointment.  No one else will have court appointments before the court closures next Friday, so I see many families come in, pick up their children, and return to the states.  It is wonderful to see, yet when each family leaves, I feel lonesome for them.  There is something about being on the other side of the world with Christian families who love their adopted children that make you immediately bond with them.  I miss all the families I've been fortunate enough to meet so much!

I appreciate your prayers, and I feel peace that God is going to clearly show us what our next steps are when it is time for us to know.  Thank you for your love and support!